Twenty Great Sex Quotes


Our buddies over at Gunaxin just published a list of twenty great quotes about beer. In the same vain, we present Banned In Hollywood’s Twenty Great Quotes About Sex.

Starting with number 20…


20. “During sex I fantasize that I’m someone else.”

–Richard Lewis


19. “Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.”

–Kevin Costner


18. “I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.”

–Leslie Nielsen


17. “Sex always has consequences. When Hitler’s mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.”

–George Carlin


16. “It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”

–Drew Carey


15. “If it wasn’t for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I’d have no sex life at all.”

–Rodney Dangerfield


14. “Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.”

–Steve Martin


13. “Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night.”

–Woody Allen


12. “It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”

–Marilyn Monroe


11. “My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.”

–Woody Allen


10. “It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don’t believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it.”

–Winston Churchill


9. “When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.”

–Matt Groening


8. “The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.”

–Brendan Francis

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7. “There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn’t get laid.”

–Denis Leary


6. “An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.”

–Edgar Wallace


5. “I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”

–Woody Allen


4. “We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”

–Robin Williams


3. “Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.”

–Steve Martin


2. “My girlfriend said to me in bed last night’ ‘you’re a pervert’ I said, ‘that’s a big word for a girl of nine’.”

–Emo Philips


1. “If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humour was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex.”

–Kate Beckinsale

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