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Tiger Woods Fired

DETROIT (AP)—General Motors Corp. said Monday that it is ending its 9 year endorsement deal with Tiger Woods in order to save money for executive pocket lining.

The endorsement deal, believed to be worth upwards of $7 million a year, was set to end in 2009, but the decision, Woods’ agent Mark Steinberg assures, was “absolutely mutual.” He continues:

“It was a combination of things. Tiger was looking to gain some more time [with his family], and certainly it was an opportunity for GM to reduce its spending with everything going on.”

Tom Krisher, AP Auto Writer comments:

“U.S. automakers, the single largest category of advertisers, cut their ad spending 18 percent to $1.37 billion in the second quarter compared with the same period in 2007.”

Though the auto market is failing, expect GM to re-sign Woods at $10 million a year and throw a $6 million corporate retreat in Barbados once the Fed decides to bail out the useless automaker a la AIG.

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Slo-mo soccer ownage to the domage