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Porn kings seek $5 billion bailout to make hard times a bit harder

CHATSWORTH, CA–Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild and Larry Flynt of Hustler believe the recent economic recession has made Americans go limp.

Their argument rides on the hard stat that XXX DVD sales are down 22% from a year ago–a year Francis fondly reflects on as the golden age of masturbation.

What they fail to consider is that DVD sales of all types are down because DVD’s are archaic–it’s the format, not the content.

This is difficult fact for Flynt to come to terms with, insisting:

“With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind… It’s time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America.”

Francis takes it a step further, arguing that porno production and automotive production are not that different from one another as he suggests:

“Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation’s most important businesses; we feel we deserve the same consideration.”

Francis, who went to USC, will to fly to D.C. personally to explain to Congress why getting cummed on on camera is as important as making cars.

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