My shoes cost more than your house

picture-4For whatever reason, we’ve been writing articles about professional wrestling what seems like everyday. Maybe The Wrestler got to our heads, or maybe the idea if grown men wearing spandex and tossing each other around inside of packed arenas nationwide to the enjoyment of tens of thousands deserves more critical attention than it ever gets.

Or maybe Ric Flair simply has a knack for coming up with the most egotistical retardedly badass phrases we’ve ever heard. And even though I don’t have a lisp, I’m going to start using some/most of his lines to piss people off at the bar. No one wants to hear that their house is worth less than my shoes, but I’m going to tell it to them anyway — you should too. And if Tommy D-Bag gets angry with you, simply suplex his ass off of the trunk of your mile-long limo filled with 20 hot girls just waiting for you to go woo.

Eternity for boys

My loony bun is fine benny lava!