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10 More Signs You Drank Too Much

When I was back home on summer break from college, one of my buddies drank way too much at his mom’s house. She had these decorative pinecones in a dish on the dining room table and a roll of duct tape in the kitchen, so naturally I duct-taped pinecones in his hands and his cell phone to the side of his leg.

Then every time we called his phone, he’d try (unsuccessfully of course) to answer the phone, at which point he’d become baffled at how to detach it from his leg, at which point he’d become baffled by what had happened to his cone-clad hands, all the while banging his opposable thumbless duct tape rods against one another like a baby trying to clap.

Then when the ringing would cease and the call would go to voicemail, he’d instantly slump lifeless into the recliner where he sat, and this continued on at 15-minute intervals for a good two-and-a-half hours.

This list goes out to you good sir.

For previous editions of 10 Signs You Drank too Much see below.

Click here: for part one.

Click here: for part two.

Click here: for part three.

Click here: for part four.

10. You Couldn’t Keep It Off The Cart Path

9. Mummified

8. You Drank Yourself Under The Table

7. This Was The Logical Next Step

Reminds me of #3 here…

6. You’re Well Balanced

5. Yep…

4. Your Dick Is A Shelf For Your Stomach, Is A Shelf For Your Beer, Is A Shelf For Your Neck, Is A Shelf For Your Head

3. At Least No One Seems To Mind…

2. You Parallel Parked Yourself

1. You Slept In Your Bed

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