20_quotes_sex

Our buddies over at Gunaxin just published a list of twenty great quotes about beer. In the same vain, we present Banned In Hollywood’s Twenty Great Quotes About Sex.

Starting with number 20…

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20. “During sex I fantasize that I’m someone else.”

–Richard Lewis

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19. “Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.”

–Kevin Costner

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18. “I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.”

–Leslie Nielsen

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17. “Sex always has consequences. When Hitler’s mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.”

–George Carlin

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16. “It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”

–Drew Carey

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15. “If it wasn’t for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I’d have no sex life at all.”

–Rodney Dangerfield

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14. “Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.”

–Steve Martin

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13. “Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night.”

–Woody Allen

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12. “It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”

–Marilyn Monroe

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11. “My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.”

–Woody Allen

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10. “It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don’t believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it.”

–Winston Churchill

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9. “When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.”

–Matt Groening

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8. “The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.”

–Brendan Francis

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7. “There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn’t get laid.”

–Denis Leary

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6. “An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.”

–Edgar Wallace

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5. “I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”

–Woody Allen

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4. “We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”

–Robin Williams

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3. “Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.”

–Steve Martin

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2. “My girlfriend said to me in bed last night’ ‘you’re a pervert’ I said, ‘that’s a big word for a girl of nine’.”

–Emo Philips

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1. “If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humour was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex.”

–Kate Beckinsale

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