Teenage pregnancies skyrocket, eyebrows raise

twopregers

Why is it that the beat chicks always get knocked up? Oh yeah, because the only way they can get attention is to fellaish a little D and stick it in the V.

Birth-control is basically free, if not really really cheap at Planned Parenthood, isn’t it? Retards should not be having sex if they can’t wrap it before they tap it. A Sergeant Major once suggested that we wear two condoms — first put one condom on, then dump a shit-ton of Tapatio sauce on it and slide the second over it it — that way if one breaks, the chick is definitely going to know about it.babygurl

“Check out da baby gurl.” This is why you don’t stone and bone. Being high only leads to bad judgment calls, like not wearing condoms and screwing fugly ass chicks.

girlinband

All because they wanted a girl in the band.

walkinpregnant

Nobody wants to see your fat preger belly, plus you’re essentially albino. The only reason these chicks are walking is because Mom wouldn’t pick them up from school.

As summer vacation begins, 17 girls at Gloucester High School are expecting babies — more than four times the number of pregnancies the 1,200-student school had last year. School officials started looking into the matter as early as October, after an unusual number of girls began filing into the school clinic to find out if they were pregnant. By May, several students had returned multiple times to get pregnancy tests, and on hearing the results, “some girls seemed more upset when they weren’t pregnant than when they were,” Sullivan says. All it took was a few simple questions before nearly half the expecting students, none older than 16, confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. Then the story got worse. “We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy,” the principal says, shaking his head.

Somebody would have to physically restrain me if a bum ever slammed my kid.

zoolander1

I think a law should be passed that says — if your facial hair looks like it came from your pubic region, parenthood should be put off for a couple of years.

12baby

Little Cindy McLaughlin 12 told Fox news:

“I can’t wait to go back to school. Being pregnant has kept me from playing soccer and doing things I love to do. My Mom is going to watch my baby during the day but hopefully I will be able to see her during recess and lunch.”

no

“Dude this is almost as gnarly as that sick kick-flip I landed yesterday. Thank God she doesn’t look like me.”

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