If you’ve never attempted to stage-dive before, it’s probably not a good idea to devirginize yourself at the high-school talent show — no one goes to those things. The crowd’s not big enough.
And as if the kid standing alone in the back didn’t already have the worst view in the house — next to getting scissor-sistered to the face, the last thing the poor kid needs is the bassist’s balls in his mouth.
Though to be fair, it’s a known fact that bass players have to work extra hard to pull groupie tail — it’s rock & roll hierarchy. Some times the groupies come to you, and sometimes the cock has to fly off the stage into unsuspecting mouths.