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Radiohead Gave Me Radioblueballs In Hollywood

A week or so ago (who really cares when no one can get tickets), Radiohead went on presale for their Hollywood Bowl show through their website, then on presale through Ticketmaster, and then to the public through ticketmaster, and everything was sold out in seconds. I am speaking here first hand, as my three attempts proved futile. And my problem with the way Radiohead dealt with ticketmaster pisses the cock off of me. Literally. My dick fell off and started wiggling on the floor, which was fu©king weird, and it’s all Ticketslave’s fault.

Months before, my dick was on and my boner was happy because Radiohead released their album In Rainbows online, which was a huge dick in the @ss to the record industry, but when it came down to seeing them live (which is the best way to listen to music) they failed to FU©K Ticketmaster (which like the record industry, deserves a hard anal pounding). And maybe I’m just getting greedy, onset of course by the liberties Radiohead’s online album release allowed me, but at the same time, maybe it’s because Ticketmaster has been FU©KING their customer’s for the past 15 years. Why should we pay a $15 processing fee and a $5 convenience charge when printing, shipping, and handling all add up to less than $3?

Obviously Ticketmaster gets a large share of this money (if not all), and by Radiohead releasing their tickets to Ticketslave it is a step backwards in their attempt at freeing their fans from corporate musical cockblock. It almost seems contradicting – unless of course the In Rainbows release was strictly for monetary gain (which I like to think is not true).

We all know that if Radiohead had put their tickets up for sale solely through their website, they would have sold out in minutes. And if they put them on sale to newsletter subscribers only (which I don’t believe even exists, C’mon Radiohead) it may have taken them a day, but at least everyone would have been fans. True fans. Not the 38 year old, single moms who listen to Radiohead because they want to “feel young again (actually those types would be at Kanye),” it’s Bull$hit.

Where have real shows gone, and why can’t we enjoy at least one band that enjoys their fans more than the money they bring? Come on Thom – Do not let Ticketmaster control your fan’s (my) lives (or at least ability to see you guys). To countless people you are idols, and the fact that Ticketslave gets in the way of this encroaches on my ability to rock out with my cock out (which, naturally I love to do).

Next time, do it right Thom. Quit giving me Radioblueballs.