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Patrice O’Neal: How To Tell How Pretty A White Woman Is

From his comedy special Elephant in the Room, Patrice O’Neal lays down the fundamental rule for figuring out how attractive any particular white woman is.

Women, if you’re unsure of your own attractiveness my buddy Barry Bonds will do just as O’Neal suggests — he’ll even provide his own burlap bag and zip-ties — no cost to you. Oh, and remember, you’re actually 2 points more attractive than you’ll appear once the experiment is over — Barry likes to hit and occasionally threatens the fairer sex with decapitation.

No big deal.

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