Open Letter To Fox News

Dear Fox News, My name’s Sean. I wrote an article last summer about beer pong and the spread of herpes. I came up with the...


Dear Fox News,

My name’s Sean. I wrote an article last summer about beer pong and the spread of herpes. I came up with the idea while observing a few friends playing everyone’s favorite party game. In passing, I thought this might be ripe for a satirical article. After mulling it over for a few days, I wrote up the first draft. My co-writer, Peter, thought it was a bit too over-the-top, so we changed a few things. What happened was a series of conversations which lead to the one presently on our site.

Our first inclination is that no one would believe it was real (Dr. Cole Desorio, really?). This article would have you believe that besides the homophone joke with the good doctor, the rest of the article was completely serious. We thought the ridiculous quotes were a dead giveaway. We’ll spot you those, but if this didn’t ring any bells, you should be wearing a helmet:

CDC Safe Pong Tips:

-Discard cups after every use, reusing cups can compromise their protective integrity
-Get tested regularly
-Stacking cups can spread the risk of transmission of HSV
-Beirut is not a safer alternative to beer pong
-Remember! Alcohol may impair the ability to practice pong safely

Foiled again!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIAdhrfT70I

Oh for Fox sake.

While your reporting has been comedy gold since its inception, it worries me a bit. I mean, most of the world is stupid but having a multi-national news corporation do less fact-checking than this guy is a bit unnerving. Then again, we’re sure that most of your research department was hired straight from the Chuck Norris Facts website.

Fox News Fact: Fox News can take two guesses at a true/false question and still answer it wrong.

  • Kerr-Mudgeon

    It's FOX News. What did you expect – fact checking, REALLY?
    Expect to see:
    – One or more FOX "commentators" use this to prove that the leftist socialist liberals' removal of God from the schoolroom debased American values to the point that immoral games like beer pong have become popular among youths who would otherwise be in church.
    – The supposed letter from the "satire's author" is fake, to allay the fears of real Americans – allowing the liberal-created infection to spread so far & fast that only 'universal health care' can stop the contagion.

  • Kerr-Mudgeon

    It's FOX News. What did you expect – fact checking, REALLY?
    Expect to see:
    – One or more FOX "commentators" use this to prove that the leftist socialist liberals' removal of God from the schoolroom debased American values to the point that immoral games like beer pong have become popular among youths who would otherwise be in church.
    – The supposed letter from the "satire's author" is fake, to allay the fears of real Americans – allowing the liberal-created infection to spread so far & fast that only 'universal health care' can stop the contagion.

Open Letter To Fox News

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