How Not To Steal A TV

When stealing a TV from a bar or restaurant, my first suggestions is to go after a television valuated at greater than the cost of a sandwich and a beer purchased from said bar/restaurant.

Finally… be a strong, athletic black guy who is capable of not being crushed by his bounty and can easily outrun a couple of obtuse cops even while holding the TV — you don’t see skinny white guys taking gold in the 100m relays and it’s not for lack of effort.