Pope Benedict XVI will launch the first ever dedicated YouTube channel for the Vatican City State later this week. The content will target devout Catholics but also aims to convert readers of The Onion to a stronger, more virtuous faith.
“We’ve evolved extraordinarily as a species–there is no logical way to deny who we’ve become and what we came from. We’re more advanced–plain and simple,” said Pope Benedict XVI in reference to the technological advances of the past decade.
“It’s evolution at its finest. We came from single-cell processors, and evolved to multi-core ones, and that, coupled with massive bandwidth reserves is what will allow us to read passages from an archaic book, as well as a few passages from a personal favorite Lord of the Rings, to people globally.”
Holy fucking YouTube Channel will go live next week–expect videos of the Pope’s cat looking really cute, as well as The Official Catholic Priest’s: ‘how to’ guide for preserving your name in the cum covered face of pedophilia.