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And Finally…

You know you’re in need of some serious lifestyle changes when you’re getting mistaken as prey by illegal beluga whale poachers… The harpoons, man them.

B92 has the whole story,

PODGORICA — A 28-year-old Serbian woman was seriously injured in the Montenegrin seaside town of Budva yesterday when a local diver shot her with a harpoon.

The woman, identified as Maja Georgi from the town of Pančevo, was swimming some 20 meters from the shore when the harpoon pierced her left shoulder, in what local media described as an accident.

Georgi underwent complicated surgery in the nearby town of Kotor, said reports, and her condition is now stable and non-life threatening.

The man who shot the harpoon was identified as Milan Lalović. He was questioned by local police and released, said reports.

Podgorica’s Vijesti newspaper quotes eyewitnesses who said the man injured the tourist accidentally, and immediately tried to help her.

Moral of the story? Never go for the shoulder — instead aim for the soft underbelly. It’s a kill shot.

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