25 Great Moments In The God Meme

Ask a religious person if they can prove God exists and they’ll tell you they have faith — which is really just a mental filibuster for drawing logical conclusions.

Thank God for the God Meme. Actually scratch that, thank the internet for the God Meme.

Prev postNext post
Use your arrow keys to browse

 

Tags: , ,

Recent posts in Memes

 
  • Behemothxp

    It’s missing one of my favourites of gods jokes on humanity

    “Punish those who don’t believe

    Only tell a few people you exist”

  • NDJS

    I like the one, “create world for humanity – 70% salt water”

  • http://POOOOOOOOOOOP Derp

    Last one is too soon xD >.>

  • Uncle B

    Neglected heathen? Still unvisited? So sorry for you.

  • Cody

    and half of these aren’t even right….

  • Shawnabcdefg

    Ohh, just shut your shit eating mouth Uncle B.

  • smarterthanyou

    more than half of these don’t make sense because they aren’t true. so they aren’t really very funny.

  • Magnehtic

    LOLOLOLOLOLZ So true.

  • Meow

    It’s funny cause it’s true.

  • smartypants

    iz funny yeh.
    I like how some say “half of these aren’t true”
    lolz.

  • bakedpotatoes

    Cords. Not Chords.

  • http://www.bannedinhollywood.com Brotha Jonze

    Power cords.

  • TJR

    I can’t prove that gravity exists, either, but I can see its effects.

  • Alya

    Maybe YOU can’t prove that gravity exists, but intellectuals can.

  • Dave

    And indeed, physicists can prove gravity exists. For that matter, how’s that floating off into space working out for you?

    Thought so.

  • Ana

    1. you can prove god exists. if you saw a house in the middle of nowhere and somebody told you it used to be a little seed but it EVOLVED into a house, would you belive them? OF COURSE NOT. so how can you belive something as complex as our brain evolved of out of nowhere!?

    2. adam and eve had more children that just cain and abel, maybe you should read the bible before jumping into stupid conclusions.

    3. God wasn’t the one who made Job sick and killed his family. And he gave him all that he los back.

    etc…
    GET A BIBLE FIRST, READ IT, THEN COMMENT…

  • Memercopter

    Lol ana,

    A seed turning into a house is called “development”. You’re right. A seed does not develop into a house. “Evolution” is a process that takes several generations of living beings to occur. A house isn’t a living being. Try coming up with an analogy that works and maybe we’ll consider your viewpoint. And while you’re at it, learn just a little bit of science and see if you like it. seriously, wiki “evolution” and don’t misquote it. Dont. Misquote. It. You. Retard. You. Are. A. Retard. Period. . Period. AAhhhh! Why did god make retards!?! so they can procreate, right?

  • Tom

    I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at arguments such as “You can’t prove gravity exists!” and “A seed doesn’t evolve into a house, therefore God exists!”

    Not only are both these claims utterly stupid, but, even if we COULDN’T prove that gravity existed (which is clearly does, I mean, there’s a reason when you fall off a building you DIE), I don’t understand how this somehow constitutes God’s existence. I mean, by that logic, unicorns and ghosts must exist too.

    Jesus, the reality of religion really does freak me out. There’s little else which inspires so much hate, ignorance and stupidity in this world. It’s almost sickening that we haven’t advanced as a species enough to just get rid of it and start treating each other with our own intrinsic morality.

    On another note, these memes are hilarious.

  • Kincade

    Amen, Tom …
    Wait – was that too religious for anyone?

    I agree … I am going to use that “A seed doesn’t evolve into a house” line somewhere sometime.

    Fact is – anyone can believe anything they want at any time. Faith is personal – you have yours – I have mine – they have theirs, etc… Most books are guidelines – but remember – they were written by man for mankind (genderless-ly speaking, of course) – they are fallible – not saying that they are WRONG … just fallible – even in translation from “mouth of god” to “ear or mind of man”…

    Show me the version that is written by the hand of god (not penned on earth) – then I will believe whatever you want me to …

  • Nal

    I think I love you, Tom.

  • alice

    40 people with the story of god.

    church chooses only 8 to put in bible

  • http://uberman5000.deviantart.com John Marshall

    Haha, love that last one.

  • GOD

    I’M WATCHING YOU ALL!

  • Reechard

    reeely reely realy funny….He who so shall, So shall he who..I think I love tom 2

  • icantthinkofaname

    lol ana needed to stfu…why was she on this site anyways? and i love all of you here (asides fron people who disagree with this page) and except for god (: oh and Tom, you rock (: here’s a gold star!!! * but its blacks <.<

  • Syl

    I don’t get people who thinks the Bible is the only truth we can live upon. Wake up people and look within yourselves you prude. Those are JOKES, if you like it or not it’s you problem. Don’t read, otherwise educate yourself. And yes some texts (duh there are much more than you think) say Adam and Eve had more kids, but let me ask you something: isn’t it sickening, a sin, incest? I am disgusted at you Bible people. So if your pastor told you to sleep with your brother/sister to save humankind you would? You are a sick bastard!!!

  • TJR

    Great work Tom, misrepresent my argument and then knock it down! It’s all been done before.

  • Sir Ewok

    God Our Father….. The World’s first absent parent.

    Christians rant on about free will, but would you let your children play with fire, guns or bombs without supervision. He does, people who don’t deserve it die horrible deaths every day while a**eholes and monsters live long & healthy lives.

    There is no god, or we would all be happy and living in a paradise. Do not give me original sin either as Lucifer had already sinned and been cast out of heaven (to Earth where God’s children happened to be living the good life) and there was able to tempt Eve. Why not put a kid in a sweetshop, tell him not to touch anything and then get a stranger to encourage that naive a innocent child to eat as many sweets as he can get hold of… Hardly a fair contest. If God exists then he rigged that contest for mankind to fail, what an a**ehole

    Re4ligious nutters: GET A LIFE, but not mine.

  • anon

    “i can’t prove gravity”

    Yes you can. Jump off a high building.

  • Casey

    It’s funny how all the people who are against God and religion are being hateful, rude, and making direct attacks to people. For example, calling someone a retard for believing in God, asking sarcastic questions to try and make someone feel stupid, telling people to “get a life”, telling them to “jump off a high building”. You tell others to keep to themselves, but go after them? You want peace among all, but go against people expressing their beliefs? I’m sorry you feel so angrily or mistreated by Christians that you act so defensively. I know some of us don’t bring the message we should, and I apologize for them. I know most of you will reject this, but I don’t care. Just know that God loves you. Hon’t turn you away, I’m sorry some of his believers have.

  • Omar

    @Casey- I see this is your first time on the internet.

  • john

    Anyone thinking these pictures are anything other than silly fun is as gullable as someone thinking the death star was real. there have been many great books since the bible. pick one up, there is more to our existance.
    take responsibility for your life and actions and accept the probability that maybe when your dead you go back to the space dust you accidentally evolved from.
    Do religious people not think that the idea that this life is all we get, makes this life so much more unbelievably precious and wonderful? or that maybe, and probably we know very little if any truths about our existance and thats what makes us all so curious and makes you believe in fairytails for comfort?
    maybe im wrong, but you DEFINITELY are.

  • Casey

    @Omar- Why? Because I think it’s ridiculous that people attack others who disagree with them? Why do you think you have the right to tell people they shouldn’t believe what they do? Would you go tell a cancer patient who has a hope that there will be something for them after they pass that they’re stupid for ever believing there was someone looking out for them?

    And yes, these pictures are funny. None of my comment was for the pictures, but the direction that people turned against others who believe in God. Why assume that the Bible is the only book any Christian ever reads? Most of us aren’t that under a rock. Why do you say we don’t take responsibility for our actions? Because we know that we’ve been forgiven for the sin we’ve committed? And religious people know this life is a gift, we just also know we have something to look forward to after we die. We realize how beautiful this world is, I’m not sure of any who don’t appreciate every second we get. And last, who are you to say that religious people are definitely wrong, when you don’t even know if you’re right?

  • labbe

    this is so funny because it is so true!

  • Anthony

    oh this made me laugh like hell(oh look a pun) seriously though i think the existence of god, if there is a god is too large and too complex for anyone one person to understand. religion has definitely got it wrong too. interestingly enough i think Futurama came closest. the seed growing into a house analogy wasn’t a good example, so i suggest try and come up with something better in the future. we should honestly just try and respectfully debate on this topic. sure i most definitely side with the critical side, but i think it’s a bit harsh calling people names for their beliefs. gravity can be proven, has been time and time again, it being proven has allowed for human society to evolve into what it is now. i would honestly having a hard time following the christian god though, too many conflicting ideas together for it to be coherent, as i said if there is a god we really have no idea what his/her/it’s intentions are so we shouldn’t found civilizations off a groups interpretations of ancient events, and who exactly was there to record all of this anyway? if you read history books they’ll show that Christianity was a compromise between paganism and an offshoot of Judaism unintentionally founded by Jesus Christ. i’m sorry everyone with religious beliefs but that right there provides incontrovertible proof as to contradict your ideas. as i said before, perhaps there is a god but who are we to decide what god’s meaning? chances are everyone in the history of earth has been WAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY off. also evolution has SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much evidence backing it that to me creationism is impossible. so as i said, i wish this to remain respectful so i hope any rebuttals to my comment are polite and courteous, as i’ve done my best.

  • Anthony

    by the way i like what tom said about seeing each other for our intrinsic value and not judging based on beliefs. peace to my fellow men and women.

  • Sarah

    Wow. Whoever wrote this has not read the Bible at all. Very sad.

  • Karen

    It’s funny how many of these aren’t even true, so the humor kinda doesn’t work.

  • Leigh

    @Karen: Oh, we know none of this is true.

    Still, it’s awfully fun to use imaginary characters to make little joke things on the internet.

  • Timothy

    Anthony what history books are you reading? Christianity is not and never has been a compromise between Judaism and Paganism and there is just as much evidence for intelligent design as there is “evolution”. It takes just as much “faith” to believe in evolution as it does to believe in a God.

  • Anonymous

    @Timothy — I don’t need faith to believe in evolution. We have this thing called evidence.

  • FA

    hahaha what makes this even funnier is the people taking it to seriously in the comments they’re jokes jeez!

  • Timothy

    @anonymous- Evidence? What evidence? Are you even aware of what had to happen for the possibility of evolution to even happen? Obviously you do not. I won’t even touch on the obvious ones such as distance to the sun, tilt of the earths axis, amount of the earth covered by clouds at any given time, ratio of the elements in the air we breathe etc etc etc. You are willing to believe that this all happened by CHANCE? Do you even know the rate of probability for the first single protein molecule to have been produced?

    Dr. James Coppedge Ph.D. director of the Center for Probability Research in Biology in California computed that rate by taking a world in which the entire crust of the earth-all the oceans, all the atoms and the whole crust were available. He then had the amino acids bind at a rate one and one-half
    trillion times faster then they do in nature. He found that to provide a SINGLE protein molecule by chance combination would take 10^262power years. I bet all you evolutionists do not even know how to comprehend what that means. It means that to get a single cell-the single smallest living cell known o mankind-which is called the mycroplasm hominus H 39, would take 10^119,841 power YEARS! That means if you took thin pieces of paper and wrote 1 then zeros after them you would fill up an entire known universe with paper before you could even write that number and that is how many years it would take to produce one living cell, smaller than any human cell.

    Emile Borel the great french SCIENTIST and probability expert points out that if anything on the cosmic level is a probability of more than 10^50 power to 1 it will never happen. The probabitity of producing a human cell by chance is 10^119,000power to 1.

    The length of time it would take for chance to produce one usable gene can be compared in this way…imagine a single amoeba trying to carry the entire known universe one atom at a time across the entire width of the universe(which astronomers estimate to be 30 billion light years). What speed would this energetic and never dying one-celled animal carry out this stupendous task? If you reduce its speed to the slowest conceivable speed , one angstrom unit every 15 billion years it would mean that the amoeba would be traveling the width of the smallest known atom the hydrogen atom in the supposed entire time that the universe has existed, 15 billion years. At this incredibly slow speed how ling would it take or super-persistent amoeba to move the entire universe over the width of 1 universe? Before 1 usable gene could be produced by CHANCE our indefatigable amoeba would not only have moved the entire universe one atom at a time but would have moved more universes then 4 billion people living on this planet could count if everyone of them counted twenty-four hours a day as fast as they could count for the next five thousand years.

    After all this evolutionists would have us believe that things vastly more complex than this happened not just once but happen all the time! So evolutionist would have people they believe they have facts to support them but they rely on FAITH just as much as the religious.

  • Anonymous

    @timothy — I’m not going to pretend that I know everything about science. From what I’ve learned thus far, yes, it does appear to have happened by chance, which is what makes our existence extraordinary. I’m also, if you’ll excuse stealing this quote from somewhere, not arrogant enough to believe the entire billion-galaxy universe was created for us.

    Regardless, I don’t see why people should get their panties in a bunch over a meme that was created for laughs. This is no place for a stupid debate that no one will ever win. Shall we agree to disagree? As much as I’m sure you’d like to argue with me, I don’t think this is the time or place for a moment of “OH NOES SOMEONE IS WRONG ON THE INTERNETZ.”

  • http://www.mdott.co.uk/murkblog murk

    I’m sure that God (if there is such a being) would be laughing his omnipotent bollocks off at this. I mean, seriously. That God bloke must have the BEST sense of humour ever. Look at all that crap He throws at His people, and they still believe in his kindness.
    “Hey God, you are love” – “thanks son, have some leprosy”
    “God, I believe in you” – “Bless you my daughter, but I’ve got you down to die in childbirth”

    Etc etc.

    Anyone who cannot see that ALL religion is just the Establishment’s way to subjugate the proletariat DESERVES to die and not go to Heaven. I mean, just how gullible are you?

  • ally

    @timothy -sorry chum, i AM a scientist, and your claim that there is an equal amount of evidence for intelligent design as there is for evolution is actually just downright false. a big old lie. lucky for you (and all the other creationists) the ten commandments doesn’t classify lying as a sin. convenient, eh?

    i’m sorry, you can believe in God and creationism all you like, but please don’t try and use the rubric of science to bolster your argument – you’re barking up the wrong theoretical tree.

    just relax, these God memes are funny.
    having no sense of humour about religion is outright dangerous.

  • Timothy

    @Ally- actually the 9th Commandment says “You shall not bear false witness” that means “You shall not lie”. Might want to study up on what the other side believes before you try and use it against us.

  • Anonemoose

    this was awesome. Thank you intelligent people for at least making these creationist think a little bit. Logic will always win. It just takes a little bit of living and thinking for yourself. Just because i don’t believe in god does not make a me a bad person. It makes me smart enough to know the difference between what is right and wrong. I don’t need some book that was told as a story for around 600 years before it was even written down for the first time to tell me. Why? Because its common sense… well not as common as one would like to believe, obviously. At least you know i wont kill you and your family and your neighbors family because i think my god is better than yours.

  • billy McFire!

    Religion is stupid. It just gets people killed. And anyone that supports it just adds to the fire.
    And if there is a god, he sounds like a total dick to me. “if you dont worship me you are going to hell”
    ^^^^^
    not actual quote from god,

    because he cant talk,

    cause he doesnt exist…

  • oh!oh!

    you for got

    People pray to me

    But i dont answer

  • terrence

    Perhaps… Religion was the only way people could explain things back then. And now we have advanced to where we can explain things now with Science. But maybe in the future, we will look back and laugh at “Science” and say that the number 23 is all knowing and scientists will look at the 23ists and try and convert them to Science but the 23ists will be the logic. Food for thought. :P

  • joeB

    Terrence, truer words have never been said. Humans have advanced so much so quickly, and the part that separates us from other animals is that we try to hold on to tradition and value, which everyone once attributed to religion. But don’t forget to appreciate the beauty and wonder of the things we might never understand. Remember, everything around you is made from the same basic elements, and we are all connected to everything.

  • ARND

    I’m a practicing Christian, and I thought these were hilarious. Especially the one about Job and the one about lust. Too good.

  • Erso

    I can provide logical proof that God exists. It’s call Alvin Plantinga’s version of the ontological argument. If you deny it, you’re denying mathematics and essentially declaring yourself a nihilist — which, by the way, is (in a strict philosophical sense, which I am guessing is what you’re asking for when you ask for logical proof of God’s existence) impossible. You cannot actually be a nihilist and still be alive. So you’re committed to accepting the ontological argument.

    There you go. Don’t say people can’t provide it. They can.

    • http://www.bannedinhollywood.com Brotha Jonze

      In his argument, one must assume “it is possible that there is a being that has maximal greatness.”

      But one can’t prove this is possible.

  • http://www.hauduyizuy4.com Andrew A. Sailer

    I just want to say I’m very new to blogs and seriously loved this web page. Likely Iím going to bookmark your blog . You absolutely come with superb stories. With thanks for sharing with us your blog site.