10 Signs You Just Might Be A Badass

In case you recently got your man card revoked for getting walked in on while using your girlfriend’s callus, corn and cuticle grinder, the following is a primer on reinstatement.

Wear your calluses with honor, and unless you’re making your own parmesan by shaving your feet into a bowl of bolognese to make it a little more manly…

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…leave the toe-cheese scraping to the ladies.

Surfing is for pussies and people who moved from Ohio to California

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You go to the barber every Tuesday

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You don’t invite the wife to the game so you can do stuff like make it on Sports Center’s Top Plays

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You one-up your neighbor with a pit-bull

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Bitches let you walk all over them

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You shutgun beers while boardsliding twenty-stairs

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You don’t even have to ride your bacon bareback

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You have a throne

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You don’t even bother making fun of guys who go out to bars in Venice wearing blazers

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The Bath versus Shower debate of manliness is officially trumped by this bad daddy who prefers to boil himself in an excavator bucket over a wood-only fire. That’s right, no briquettes, just pure man salt and mesquite

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Either that or he’s just really, really drunk.

Crossfit For Beach Season

I Instantly Regret This Decision… (13 GIFS)