LA Fan Tiger Woods Fuels Dodgers in NLCS Fight
October 13, 2008
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(above) Tiger Woods shows his Dodger support at game three of the NLCS in what sports commentators are calling the most awkward picture taken yet during the 2008 post season.
Need to know facts:
Dodgers defeat Phillies (7-2)
Phillies lead series (2-1)
Near Brawl: 3rd Inning after Shane Victorino nearly wore it on the face
Attendees: Tiger Woods, Danny DeVito
Our Thoughts: The Tiger Woods appearance was sponsored by the PGA in an effort to remind people that professional golf still exists, which to be honest, I would rather watch than see Matt Kemp wave at three pitches and strike out one more god damn time (though I admit, he did look better on Sunday).
And a few more scenes from the game:
5 Strange Moments in TV Screenshots
October 12, 2008
We at Banned have used some of these before and I’m sure you’ve seen a few of them on the interweb, but that still doesn’t change the fact that these seven moments in TV Screenshot history, like the breasts of Scarlett Johansson, need to be seen.
5. Wait, seriously?
What kind of fire-hoses are we talking about here exactly?
4. Proving The Obvious
Based on the evidence at hand, the paternity test will conclude what all of us, except for the confused Richard, already know - Mom banged the UPS guy.
The upside? At least now he won’t have to pretend that he’s interested in watching his son’sbasketball games.
For People Who Like Porn, But Not The Sex…
October 9, 2008
Our buddies over at Spike have teamed up with the Gunn boys to bring you everything you love about pornography, minus the porn.
It’s literally just the good stuff - the sexy, juicy, erotic plot with none of the obnoxious nudity.
It’s like watching a Jackie Chan movie without the fight scenes, and what could be better than that?
Links for Halle Berry’s November 2008 Esquire
October 9, 2008
Tourettes Guy Remix: Freedom Of Speech - CamelTap
Crystal Loves to Get Hammered and Record It - Hottest Girls of Myspace
Confirmed: Evel Knievel was a badass son of a bitch - on 205th
The Real Life Jason Bourne - NextRound
Japanese Police Scared Sh!tless Of Naked Streaker - Busted Coverage
Dance Pak behind the scenes photoshoot - Cuzoogle
Fly The Friendly Skies Without Porn - Tasty Booze
I’d Like to Piss In These Urinals at Least Once in My Life - Uncoached
Ana Faris With Pink Bunny Ears Made This Guy Do Crazy Shit - The Beer Goggler
Erik Ainge? I miss you and your 31 TDs - Loser with Socks
Funny: The McBitchSlap - YepYep
Paris Hilton looks like a dominatrix - Horndog
Lindsay Lohan see-thru shirt = NIPPLES - Derober
Alesha Dixon Hotness - Angry T
for more head to Esquire.com
Approach With Caution
October 9, 2008
This reminds me of something that happened to my buddy Jesse a few years ago.
While enrolled at the prestigious Moorpark Community College, he and a few friends went camping in the Santa Monica mountains. When they arrived they noticed several WARNING: Do NOT Leave Food Out! signs intended to inform campers to discourage bears from entering the camp grounds.
Jesse, health nut that he is, had a package of raw almonds in his backpack that he, advisory sign heeding intellectual that he is, decided to leave out overnight.
When he woke up his backpack, along with his text books, notes and the homework he had due the following Monday were torn to shreds and his tasty package of nuts was nowhere to be found.
That is what you call a disrespected warning. Disrespect this warning ladies, and I promise that Frank will shit in your kitchen.
Who Would You Rather Not: Renée Vs. SJP
October 9, 2008
In all fairness, both Sarah Jessica Parker and Renée Zellweger look more like barnyard animals that cluck and trot than women that any self-respecting man would call hot - After all, there is a site dedicated to Sir Jessica Parker’s resemblance to horses, conveniently called sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com (make sure you have your volume turned up)… We’re still waiting on reneezellwegerlooksliketheguycollectingshitinmontypythonsquestfortheholygrail.com
But alas, this isn’t a competition of preferance, because it’s safe to say that no man genuinely prefers one over the other - that is unless of course, he is forced to decide between the two, which is essentially what we are doing here today.
So think of Renée and SJP as you would sheep or goat, cattle or piglets, donkeys or horses and choose the one that would be least worst. And please, do us all a favor and leave a detailed explanation as to why you chose the way you did in the Comments section below.
Nolte’s House Burns: What They Said VS What They Meant
October 8, 2008
I first caught this story on HuffPo and could have really cared more, a lot more, because I didn’t care at all - that is until I took the time to read what they took the time to report and noticed a few minor holes in their story.
Here’s what they said:
MALIBU, Calif. — Nick Nolte escaped a fire that caused an estimated $1.5 million damage to his Malibu home on Tuesday, authorities said. The 67-year-old actor scraped his arm and inhaled some smoke but was not hospitalized, Los Angeles County fire Inspector Sam Padilla said.
“He is seeing his private physician” for the injuries, he said.
Here’s what they meant:
MALIBU, Calif. — Nick Nolte escaped a high that cost an estimated $1,500 in blow on Tuesday, authorities said. The 67-year-old actor, who is frequently mistaken for similar looking C-list actor Gary Busey, cut a line on a mirror and inhaled some smoke from his two foot water pipe but was not hospitalized, Los Angeles County fire Inspector Sam Padilla said.
“He was seeing double at his private physician” Padilla said…
Huffington Post, you’re notorious for fudging the facts, but next time please don’t blow important breaking stories like this one.
